


Home is somewhere inside me

by steelorchids



Series: Random Karedevil fics [13]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Karedevil - Fandom
Genre: Celebrating love, Established Relationship, F/M, Karen's POV, Matt's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelorchids/pseuds/steelorchids
Summary: Matt Murdock is a complicated man and sharing a life with him is undoubtedly an emotional rollercoaster, one totally worth the ride.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Karen Page, Matt Murdock/Karen Page
Series: Random Karedevil fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1195774
Comments: 28
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from this beautiful quote by A. R. Asher: _"The way you fall into my arms, like home is somewhere inside me."_

Matt Murdock is certainly a complicated man, hard to get to know and full of contradictions. He is the kind of friend who will probably not answer each and every one of your phone calls, won't be available to hang out at a bar after work every night, and will definitely not share much about himself, no matter how much you try; however, he has the softest spot for the most vulnerable ones along with an out-of-this-world sense of justice, he will be there to save your life whenever you need him, even if that means risking his own, and above all, when he loves, it is infinitely. 

He has an inside world of darkness and light that he has opened to me only, and that not everyone would be able to understand, accept, and love. He has been through so much, we both have, and it's been a long journey of fears and lies and deceptions, but today I can say that we've finally been able to work things out, make each other better, and move forward… together. 

Here are some of the things that come out of living with a man whom I am madly in love with and who rocks my world: 

  * He is blind, yet he sees me better than anyone else does. I must admit it was humiliating at first, I made sure he knew that when he told me his secret, and now it is both a curse and a blessing because when I'm angry at him, particularly when he knows I'm right, he leaves me with no arguments by telling me he loves the way my voice changes as I start getting upset and how my body heats up and then my knees go weak and the discussion ends in our bedroom each time. He's a hell of a lawyer, I can tell. 



  * He has a secret identity that he keeps hidden under his mask, although he didn't think twice before revealing it to the man who earned his trust by saving my life, or to the little boy he'd just rescued so he wouldn't get scared. 



  * He gets home late, so late that I get worried sick sometimes wondering how badly hurt he could be when I hear the roof door creak, but then he snuggles in bed with me after his shower, no matter how horrible of a night it's been, tells me that he loves me and falls asleep to the sound of my heartbeat with his forehead pressed against mine. In that moment I just forget it, I forget everything. 



  * He punches criminals to the point they have to spend weeks at a hospital, but he also kisses my forehead and holds my hand whenever he has a chance. 



  * His fists get bloody as he fights as the devil in the darkness, either behind a black mask or a red suit, that’s a fact. What no one can actually see is the light inside his heart. 



  * His self esteem is lower than average, he has hit rock bottom before, reason why Foggy and I always make sure to remind him how valuable he is to us, and that we won't go anywhere. When he gets cocky, though, (and he does, a lot) it makes me want to slap him in the face. Or kiss him. I always choose the latter, to be honest. 



  * Despite being stubborn as fuck and having a tremendous tendency to isolate himself from everything and everyone, he's worth keeping around, so I have learned to hold on tight and never let go. I will never let him go.



  * For a long time he pushed me away, half of it trying to keep me safe, the other one trying to stay safe himself, but not anymore. Every day he holds me so tightly that he could crush my bones, making me whole again by bringing all my broken pieces back together. 



While it’s true that we've both been through hell, together everything feels like heaven, and I'm hopeful that it always will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second to last paragraph was inspired by the quote: _"One day someone will hug you so tight that all your broken pieces will stick back together."_ I couldn't find the author. 
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter that no one asked for nor did I ever intend to write. It's in Matt's voice and it reads almost like a little ode to Karen Page. I hope I did them both justice :)

Karen Page. 

What would I do without her? 

If I had to describe her in one word, I'd say she's a warrior — a beautiful mixture of kindness and courage. That's something I've known ever since I met her. She'll fight for what she believes is right regardless of how frightened or vulnerable she feels, she has learned how to toughen up when life has brought her down, and no matter how hard things get, she simply won't give up. She never even gave up on me and that's saying a lot. It is in good part because of her that I'm still sane in the middle of all the chaos I've been through. 

Although there are countless scars under that fierce determination she breathes out, none of them has changed her essence. She's still this amazing, fun, loving woman whose smile is always as bright as day. I can't see it, but I can tell. It's a point of light in my life. 

Don't let any of that fool you, though. She's as sweet as she's clever and won't take anyone's bullshit, especially not from me. Zero tolerance for nonsense, that's for sure. Moreover, she's brave, tenacious, and definitely no saint, but she's compassionate at heart. She won't think twice if she has to walk into the lion's den to seek truth and justice — the risk is always worth taking for the greater good. 

Our relationship has had many ups and downs. We're both loners by nature and have layers that go deep down to our core, lots of which are better left untouched. However, since day one she took me by surprise and started tackling them. She kept creeping into me from then on, piercing through my thick walls, until I realized I was doing the exact opposite of protecting her by hiding behind a mask. Also, as I got to know her better, the blurry picture of her I had drawn in my head faded away, giving way to a clearer, more complex one. She's imperfect, she's broken, she has her own skeletons in the closet, and she is with all certainty no damsel waiting to be rescued, but a tough woman who is more than capable of going to battle either on her own or by my side. 

She has her own means to draw me in, subtly at times, bluntly at others. I don't quite know how she does that, but it works. I can't just not listen to her. It must be her voice. I've always loved her voice and how it can bring me back to my senses when I'm not thinking straight. 

Karen is my reflection in so many ways, it took me a while to realize that. Same as me, the weight of her mistakes will always haunt her, and I'll make sure to be around when the world is beating her down. Fortunately, she too has chosen me over and over again despite the many times I've failed her. She forgave me, not because I deserved it but because that's who she is and what she does. She sees the best in me when all I see within myself is darkness, and her soft touch is a reminder that even at its worst, life is worth living _._

She has become my downfall and my muse. I never imagined that I'd be capable of loving someone the way I love her, but mostly, I never thought anyone could ever love me the way she does. Every morning when I wake up with her by my side I can't help but wonder if I'm worthy of such love. The answer is probably no, but I have a feeling she'll never stop trying to prove me wrong. 

Karen is the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's my everything. My soulmate. Truly a blessing. 

She's the love of my life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you able to spot anything familiar? I hope you were. There's an insane amount of references here and I tried using superscripts with links to the sources, but that's very time-consuming so I'll just list them here:
> 
> [John Legend - All of Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg)  
> My main source of inspiration for Matt's voice. 
> 
> _What would I do without your smart mouth_  
>  _Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_
> 
> _The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood_  
>  _You're my downfall, you're my muse_
> 
> [Sara Bareilles - She Used To Be Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53GIADHxVzM<br%20/>)  
> Okay, I am obsessed with this song. Although its main theme is unrelated, most of its lines remind me a lot of Karen.
> 
> _She's imperfect, but she tries_  
>  _She is good, but she lies_  
>  _She is hard on herself_  
>  _She is broken and won't ask for help_  
>  _She is messy, but she's kind_  
>  _She is lonely most of the time_  
>  _She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie_
> 
>  _Who'll be reckless, just enough_  
>  _Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up_
> 
> [Daredevil: Yellow by Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale](https://care-devil.tumblr.com/post/119131836546/you-smiled-even-though-i-couldnt-see-you-i)  
>  _“You smiled. Even though I couldn’t see you, I could tell. You smiled and in my head it was as bright as day.”_ ― Matt Murdock
> 
> [Daredevil vol. 1 #368 by Joe Kelly, Gene Colan, and Christie Scheele](https://daresplaining.tumblr.com/post/622667573587230720/id-excerpt-from-joe-kellys-daredevil-run-karen)  
>  _“... Some people are such bright points of light... that they outshine the sun altogether. People like the woman who I ought to be sharing this good vibe with... Karen.”_ ― Matt Murdock
> 
> Daredevil Season 2, Episode 4  
>  _“No, I’m kidding. Compassionate. It’s a good quality, Karen. The stuff of saints.”_  
>  _“Well, I’m no saint.”_  
>  _“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that.”_  
>  ― Matt Murdock and Karen Page 
> 
> [charactour.com - Karen Page](https://www.charactour.com/hub/characters/view/Karen.Page-Daredevil)  
>  _She wants justice_  
>  _She’s mostly a loner_  
>  _But underneath her sweet exterior, she’s tough, capable, and jaded._
> 
> Very cool page with spot on descriptions. Search for Matt! 
> 
> Daredevil Season 1, Episode ?  
>  _"I like listening to your voice."_ ― Matt Murdock
> 
>  _“And I need you. Not in the ways to survive, but in the ways that make life worth living.”_  
>  ― J. M. Storm
> 
>  _“I think Karen represents Matt’s best chance of real happiness. She is his great love. She is the love of his life.”_ ― Charlie Cox
> 
>  _“I think she is… his ultimate soulmate. I’m not sure he knows this yet.”_ ― Charlie Cox
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
